Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Power of Yes

Paul Boynton wrote a book called “Begin With Yes.” I will state up front that I’ve not yet read it. However, I find it fascinating that, with one slight shift of the mind, things have begun to happen in my life. New, fun and exciting things. Some which I can share, some which I can’t just yet. But it's all because I said yes to reaching out and seeking help.

I first noticed the power behind yes when a friend of ours invited us on a cruise for his 50th birthday. We almost said no but, because we said yes, we not only had a fabulous time and got to meet new people, we enjoyed our first cruise and got to meet Treva Harte; someone I’ve grown quite fond of and truly enjoy.

That was two and a half years ago. If we hadn’t said yes to going on the cruise, we never would have met Treva and I never would have gone on the thrilling, emotional roller coaster that is writing and getting published.

Over the course of time that followed, many things happened that either made me feel elated or down in the dumps. There seemed to be no in between. Unfortunately, more and more things kept happening that pushed me further into muck and the result was an extreme depression that was crippling to say the least.

Since talking about the depression and realizing I need help, things have begun to change. I don’t know why but I was hesitant about reaching out. Perhaps this is a guy thing? It’s like admitting that I’m weak, I suppose. I don’t know. I haven’t quite analyzed that yet.

What I do know is that, after speaking with my partner then speaking with a retired therapist, I said yes to myself, yes to help and yes to life because the alternate images running through my mind were far too horrible and unacceptable. I can’t even bring myself to say it.

As a result, my first therapy session went very well. Mind you, you can’t do a hell of a whole lot in 50 minutes. It’s more of a “getting to know you,” figuring out what’s wrong, and what you’d like to see happen sort of thing. But as I’d already met with Ray to do an interview sort of thing, we were ahead of the game. We went through a host of different scenarios that pointed out just how negative I’ve been with myself practically my entire life!

And yet, with that one small shift of awareness and realization, already I feel immensely better. Of course, it helps that now, on top of the freelance work possibly going into more billable hours, the release of “Learning To Samba,” my third gay romance, will be released by Loose Id this coming August 16th!

I’m elated beyond belief and, though I know every moment in life can’t be spent in this constant state of extreme high, I look forward to my next appointment with my therapist and the changes that will come.

I guess Paul was correct. It does begin with yes!


  1. I think you are very courageous to say yes and get help and to share about your depression. I suffered from post-partum after my second child and it took me a very long time to seek help and two years to start writing again. But I'm so glad to be doing what I'm doing right now!

  2. @Silvia: From what I've been told, post-partum can be an absolute horror. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad you're back on track. And thanks for the encouragement. What hurt the most was thinking of my partner having to pick up the pieces.

  3. So glad you are reaching out and things are starting to improve. I agree with Silvia, it's very brave of you to say yes and get help. Huge hugs, my friend. Let me know if you ever just need to talk.

  4. Thanks Sloan. You have no idea how much you've already helped without even realizing it. Huge hugs to you as well. My love to your honey.